How a child navigates academic or extracurricular setbacks is a critical test of their resilience and a major factor in their risk of burnout. A parent’s response in these moments can either reinforce a fear of failure or build the strength to bounce back. A clinical psychologist’s insights show how to use disappointments as opportunities for growth.
When a child experiences a setback—like a poor test grade or not making a team—it can trigger the anxiety and perfectionism that clinical psychologist Meghna Kanwat warns against. A parent’s first and most important job is to respond with empathy and support, not disappointment or criticism. Validating their feelings of sadness or frustration is key.
The next step is to help them reframe the experience. Instead of seeing it as a final judgment on their abilities, guide them to view it as a learning opportunity. Ask gentle, curious questions like, “What do you think you could do differently next time?” or “What did you learn from this experience?” This fosters a growth mindset.
This approach aligns with setting “realistic goals.” It teaches children that progress is not always linear and that setbacks are a normal part of any challenging endeavor. This understanding reduces the immense pressure to be perfect and makes them more willing to take on future challenges.
By guiding a child through setbacks with compassion and a focus on learning, parents are actively nurturing resilience. They are teaching their child that their worth is not defined by their successes or failures, but by their ability to keep trying and growing. This is a powerful lesson that helps to burnout-proof their future.
